when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
