I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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