quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
