He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
