Do you still have your period?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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