I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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