Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
