Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize