He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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