So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
