Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
