the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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