Swine flu. Run for my life!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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