The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize