In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
