well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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