His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
