Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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