I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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