In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
porn star boner night. come get it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Come share oat with me in your robe
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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