i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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