I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
