are you so shy because you have an std?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
