so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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