do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
