i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
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