In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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