oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize