So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize