No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
