At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
