Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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