never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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