I showed him my bush... on skype.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
