Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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