two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
