so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
