It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize