I am puke
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
