we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
