he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
