it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
