i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
