Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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