You can't motorboat a personality
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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