Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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