like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
