Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize