He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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