weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I understand Curling. That high.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You are the jesus of drinking
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
