We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize