im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
NoShamevember. You game?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
