Cold hands, warm shart.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
