how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Randomize
