I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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