Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize