absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Quick, to the slutcave!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
