Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize